Monday, May 22

wee hours

It's 4:30 in the morning and I've been up for about an hour and a half. I've had this kind of insomnia for the last few weeks now - sleep for a few hours then wake up unable to go back to bed or concentrate on anything. Then I sit for a while contemplating whether or not I should make coffee as that indicates the start of the day and do I want to start the day this early? Ultimately, I want to fall asleep again just when it's time to get ready for work. Psychological? You decide. Very frustrating.

Things are going better for the most part. I'm feeling pretty good about my work for the first time in a long time and I've made a pact with myself to start getting more stuff out there. I'm taking July off from PVC, ATOMIC, any other readings, etc. I just need time to worry about nothing but my writing work. I'm still feeling scarred and bitter from last month's absurdities yet oddly stronger and more determined than ever. Whatever.

Anyway, I thnk I'm going to get horizontal again and hope for at least another hour of sleep.

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